Why not? Szathmáry. J (2010)

Why not? Szathmáry. J (2010) Chapter One


He looked at me as he comfortably sat down on the big armchair next to the large sash window.


‘Why not? What can you lose? Now that you know what you know there is nothing measurably difficult to accomplish, but it is up to you. You are in charge, only you can make that decision and the way things are going something needs to be done. It doesn’t have to be you and it is up to you.’


His presence filled the room. He had an enormous presence, which was uplifting, reassuring, sharp, and at the same time childishly serious.


You know that it is not an easy decision- I replied.


He looked deep into my eyes so deep that forms slightly started fading around us. He held his vision right into my soul, which resonated with mine.


‘Remember who you are. Focus on the greater collective good, rather than your individual loss or gain. Imagine the world you want your great-grandchildren to live and strive in. Envision all the beauties, freedoms and joys of a truly fulfilled life, and decide how this would help perpetuate those gifts’.


He reached across the coffee table and opened up a beautiful silver box, which was engraved, with his initials and a quote, which appeared to be in Latin, but I was not able to read the scribe. He carefully took out a cigar and lit it.


‘You know very well that what you were involved in was not going to benefit future generations in the way in which you intended to. That is the reason you decided to stop what you were doing. You understood that sometimes the cost of self-control is simply too high.


In order to fit in, you were suppressing a tremendous emotional charge and it started taking a toll on your body. This lightning bolt instead of being released to find its target, started to get grounded and trapped within your body, zapping your internal organs and your nervous system. The energy became too intense to contain.


It happens when for a long time we suppress the truth that should be acknowledged, spoken and acted upon. You knew that taking those steps you have taken will set loose that lightning and by doing so you will create permanent change.


You made a choice, allowing your desperate desire to be on the other side of the issue. You overcame the fear of invoking change. You made the first step’.


He looked at me and smiled.


‘Isn’t this what I taught you to do in your work? Now you know how hard it is and at the same time how liberating it is for those who practise overcoming their fear under your guiding hands.’


‘Remember who you are and choose your path’.


I closed my eyes and quietly said. Okay.


‘Well? He said as if he hadn’t heard me. Are you going to choose?’


I silently giggled, stood up, went to my desk and picked up a notebook. Why not? I scribbled on the first page.


This is going to be the title of it.


He nodded and stretched out in the armchair, quietly acknowledging that I remembered what he taught me; that decisions are not made with words, but with actions.


He relaxed in the knowledge that I was going to do it.


From his point of view, things were so much easier and simpler. He didn’t have a physical body anymore, so he couldn’t influence the physical as much as I could either.


I had great respect for him, but he told me once; –don’t put anyone on a pedestal, if for some silly reason you do, imagine them having a ‘rush’. It will stop you.


‘You my dear girl, first and foremost learn to respect yourself. Once you achieved that, you made the first step to accomplishing what you came here for.’

I have known him for a long time. Our friendship started about 30 years ago. These kinds of friendships don’t happen by mere accidents. One day he told me this when we were sitting under a big pine tree in the forest. ‘There are no accidents in life, if people were more aware, they would read the signs and use them as guidelines. There is so much guidance available and brought forth only by our sheer existence, just by being alive.’


Picture: Michael Angelo Creation of Adam ‘Hands’ from Google Images




‘Why not? Szathmáry. J (2010) Chapter Two

I was warming my hands over the crackling fire in the study. The autumn evenings became colder and colder. He reached towards me handing me back my notes. ‘I have made some corrections. –He said.


‘I want you to tell them that I live in the eternal present and I come from the past and the future.


We met and have known each other many other times not just in the last thirty years. I lived and worked with you on ancient continents, in ancient cities and in old civilisations. We have known riches and poverty, experienced great love of the hearts and also solitudes of body and mind.’


He slowly walked around the room with his hands folded behind his back. He quickly turned around at the fireplace, looked up and with a raised voice he cited the following.


‘The greatest pitfalls of man are ignorance and prejudice.


This is what we have been dealing with here, my dear girl! Ignorance and prejudice put their stamp on the work and tried to sell the distorted version of it to minds that are made of concrete.


The minute the work left the institute they wanted to change it to fit into their own work, into their own systems. They are still trying to find the basis of its existence in the literature written by other minds.


They forgot to pay the slightest interest and attention to what was already there right in front of their eyes.


In some ways, I can understand them. For example, many people know that electricity exists, although it is not visible. No one can see it, no one knows where it comes from, and no one can create it. Once it has been discovered they learned to use it and harness it, but there are certain requirements as to how it must be handled. Otherwise, it doesn’t work or could be very dangerous.’


Raising his palms towards the ceiling he continued. -‘ Look around you- the seeds, which have been put down by them many decades ago, are sprouting and growing into unrecognisable forms with no substance.


The energy is scattered, and conduction is far from its ideal state.’


He was silent for a long time, only the sound of the crackling fire and the smell of the burning logs filled the room.


It suddenly became dark outside.


‘The ego cannot pose truth my dear girl.’ –He said quietly.’ It wants to protect itself and what it knows. It strives for safety and control. The base of its existence is survival whatever it takes.’


Then he changed the subject and his voice became passionate and excited.


‘But what we meant to talk about here is eternal and the greatest gifts of all, which grows in the giving and it never loses its luminous shine.’


Are you talking about love? – I asked with my heart pounding faster and faster, paying the closest attention to his words.


‘It is love, but it is not the kind of love, which is portrayed and understood in everyday life.


The love that people generally talk about can be blissful, but it cannot compare with a still higher love, which marks a higher life.


This love requires commitment and puts great responsibility on the person who chooses to work with it.


This energy that we call love here, vibrates on a certain frequency. This frequency cannot be lied to, cannot be manipulated and cannot be grasped and controlled by the polluted mind.



When you learn to know this love, this energy; you understand that whatever may come to pass, if love bonds are broken and you appear to have no friends, you are by the right of birth surrounded by protecting powers that defy all opposition.


So long as you live a life of purity and goodness, and adhere strictly to the path of duty you will be protected from all harm’.


He turned towards the fire; his face lit up and his eyes reflected the most luminescent burning light.


He took a sip of his strong coffee, and as he slowly walked away he called back.


‘Tomorrow, I want you to come with me.’ I nodded and looked at the burning fire as I put my hands on my burning heart. The sound of an owl broke the silence of the night.’


Picture: Michael Angelo Creation of Adam ‘Hands’ from Google Images





‘Why not? Szathmáry. J (2010) Chapter Three


The next morning, I woke up early and quickly got ready. I could hardly wait for him to arrive. The morning was fresh and filled with a sense of adventure as the sun sparkled through the branches of the trees. The sky was open, imposing its vastness with calmness and dignity.


He was already in the car park when I opened the back gate and stepped out onto the frosty gravel.


‘We are going to go back in time, close your eyes’–he said as he put his hand on my shoulder.


He gently squeezed my shoulder and I opened my eyes. We were at a reception of a single-story building.


He took me to a large wooden cupboard and opened it. It was packed with a collection of walking sticks and different walking aids filled up to the brim.


These were left behind by children and grownups who didn’t need them anymore.’-He said, pointing inside.


‘They intended to leave these behind in this cupboard. What is not visible to the eyes is that these people have left a lot more behind. One of those things was their negative beliefs that held them back’ –He said seriously.


He let go of my shoulder and stepped back to let me absorb what was presented to me.


‘All those negative beliefs are just thoughts people keep thinking, they are manmade and carried through and handed down over time by societies.’ –He said breaking his silence.


‘Beliefs influence the choices people make, the directions they take. Our beliefs trigger inner processes and manifest behaviours, which influence how we act, how we feel, how we move and how we engage with life.


Beliefs can be changed and they must change, as life is about constant change. Nothing stays still in life. Stillness is death.


You made me laugh once’-he said. ‘Do you remember when you arrived in England and the headmaster was showing you around the school? The corridors and the classrooms were packed with standing frames, different kinds of walking frames, wheelchairs and those high-tech, expensive special needs equipment, which cost thousands and thousands of pounds. He was very proud and asked you what you thought about them.


You answered without any delay. They will be good to be sent to a museum, as they will not be needed anymore.


I will never forget his face. I know that your comment was innocent and spontaneous, but this was not what he expected to hear.


I was listening to your effort to explain to him, but he was not ready to hear it. You told him that by exposing the children to all the equipment and using them from such an early age is detrimental to their progress. They put emphasises on disability and they don’t allow a platform for finding out their true, innate abilities, which could be and must be utilised and unique to each person.


In his mind, the headmaster quickly came to a conclusion, which he found reassuring that you are Hungarian and you wouldn’t know about such equipment anyway and he turned his attention towards something else.’


He started moving at a fast pace towards a long corridor and said-‘First and foremost we are not dealing with the physical, as it is the end result of the process, we must attempt to influence a lot more things before we get to that.’


He turned around and he held my face with his hands- ‘You must tell this to them.’

He gently slid his fingers off my face and continued- ‘There is an ancient Toltec warrior saying: “Human beings love to be told what to do, but they love even more to fight and not to do what they are told, and thus they get entangled in hating the one who told them in the first place.” and with that, he opened a door which led us to one of the classrooms.


Picture: Michael Angelo Creation of Adam ‘Hands’ from Google Images




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